i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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