No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
