i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
