Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
