omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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