I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
