u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
her vagine was all disorganized.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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