i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize