my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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