I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
