Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
