his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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