do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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