grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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