My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I want to fling myself into the sun
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
