I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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