don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
