Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
