just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize