My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
