Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
