her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
