She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
