I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
