What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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