I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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