my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
