just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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