Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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