I must be too annoying 4 u.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i love accidental penises.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
