I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
