my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
