yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
