just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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