Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
