Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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