Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
