I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
