Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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