Moan for me like Helen Keller
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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