She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
