Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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