Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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