You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
