She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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