He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
