Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
