5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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