Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
