she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just high enough for therapy.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
