thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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