i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
