Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
