I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize