I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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