Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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