What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
