I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
