Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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