I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
