and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
please come you make the beer taste better
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
