I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
high people should be assigned attendants
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
