Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
