Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
