i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
