the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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