Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
