The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
